Even the best relationships come with frustrations. From Venus to Mars and back again, I think we all get it. We just don’t think or speak the same way. Let’s face it…sometimes navigating the wants and needs of the opposite sex, well, just isn’t intuitive. (Where did you think the phrase “can’t live with ’em, can’t live without them” came from anyway?) The good news? Unraveling that feminine mystique might be easier than you think. Here are a few easy tricks to navigate your way to happily ever after.

Nagging - The #1 complaint of men regarding women. Little known fact: There is a button you can press to stop it. Try to ignore the shrillness of her voice for a second. It may feel like nails on chalkboard…Zen out on your greater goal. When you feel the grip of defensiveness taking hold, embrace what you really want - to stop the argument, not continue it. Don’t engage in whether you think the nag is valid or not. Let go of defending your position for the time being. She may just need to vent. You don’t need to explain yourself. She doesn’t care. Ask her why she feels upset and explain to her that your intent was never to wound her. Women tend to take explanations as justifications that can cloud the issue or set off recurring cycles. Try waiting until you can come from a place of true ease. Relax your shoulders and lower those eyebrows. She wants you to listen.

Girlfriend driving you crazy seeking reassurance through negative or passive aggressive statements like “I look fat.” or “I hate my clothes.” Speak “GUY” and say what you really think, not what you think she wants you to say. Women smell insincerity a million miles away. HOWEVER: There is some work involved on your part. It can be tricky. So pay attention: Take whatever you’re really thinking and then find a positive way to say it. Example: You will score big points for “Baby, You’re a natural beauty. I love it when you don’t wear makeup.” versus ”Why are you wearing so much make up? You look like a hooker.”  Positive affirmation builds confidence in your girl.

She always shows up ½ hour late? Needs at least 3 hours to get ready? It’s a simple trick, but will have you stress free in no time. Forget that you want her to change. Forget that you think she should change. Your goal is to keep you happy as well. Reduce your frustration by taking matters into your own hands and head her off at the pass. Tell her your plans are a ½ hour earlier. You’ll remain stress free and maybe she’ll finally understand what it feels like to get “good” seats at the movie theater. What if she takes 3 hours to get ready? Tell her you’ll drop her off at home to get beautiful and to call you when she’s ready. Use the extra time to cross off things on your to-do list. If you live together, use the time to make those hardware store runs or stop by to pick up the dry-cleaning. You’ll feel productive instead of like you’re waiting around. Stop and pick her up flowers on the way back. She’ll think you’re a dream come true.

Scenario: Girlfriend wants to go shopping and wants you to go along. You want to indulge her and spend time together but fear the dreadful moment when the 3rd pair of strappy heels becomes the 23rd and there’s no end in sight. By the time your honey’s found that perfect pair, you find yourself unintentionally grumbling, exhausted and looking for the nearest bar.  Stop the downward spiral by agreeing to a game plan BEFORE you go. This can be a time limit or a matter of fact statement that you’re hers until the game starts at 4pm. The more specific you are with your arrangement, the fewer loopholes you’ll discover later. This rule applies for almost all occasions  - shopping, picking out drapes, weddings, and weekends with her family, - all the things you agree to because you know it makes her happy.  However, boys, this one applies to you too. The ole “just one more beer with friends” or we’ll leave right after half-time” means just that. Hold up your end of the bargain and she’ll not only appreciate your gentlemanly consideration…she’ll want to reciprocate.

Before you find yourself scrambling to re-read Tips 1-4, only to find yourself already back at, “deciphering the Nag”, take a preemptive step in the right direction by learning to manage her expectations. Never, ever over-promise just to get her off your back. When you think you can make it up to her later or it’s not worth getting “a lecture” now, it’s a surefire way to arrive specifically at the place you’re trying to avoid. If there is no way humanly possible that you will be there by 8pm, don’t even suggest it. Saying “I’ll try my best” won’t help you either. Be realistic about your obligations, and when you’ll have time for her. Don’t let her bully you into promising what you can’t deliver. Give her a time she can not only count on, but also look forward to. Arrive on time. She’s looking for your full attention, so make sure to be fully “there” when you get there.  Accidents do happen - the subway ran late, your watch stopped or you fell asleep. Call and let her know what’s going on as soon as possible. Delivery is EVERYTHING. When there’s a problem, don’t stay focused on it.  Practice your new skills and let her know what to expect from you next. What men don’t understand is that biologically we tie your promptness, your ability to do what you say you’re going to do, with (surprise) how well you can provide.   Feminism aside – we want a man who takes care of business. Even if we can take care of business ourselves.

“Does my butt look too big in these jeans?” It’s been deliberated endlessly, but no matter what you’ve heard or how much junk in the trunk your girl’s got, this question can only be answered in the right state of mind. Remember, perfect or not, hopefully you love your girlfriend’s butt. Big, round, skinny, petite…seeing little hints of her juicy curves should be a constant reminder of just how lucky you are that she shares it with you, SANS clothing. With this new enthusiasm in mind, the next time she asks, refocus her attention to what you love about her body. Tell her you’ll need to get a little closer to make a better evaluation. As you whisper in her ear how good it looks to you from this angle, her perceptions about her body will slowly and positively begin to shift. Your sultry praise will show in her mood, her walk, and her confidence. You’ll love her new sexy attitude that now comes along with those jeans.

Realize your guy DOES want to make you happy. Men rarely are purposely trying to disappoint you. Try cutting him some slack when you see he’s making the effort. We all like a pat on the back, and some positive affirmation from you will make him feel great. When you make agreements – the rules apply to you too, ladies! No pouty faces and “just 5 more minutes”. He’s gotta know it’s a two-way street!