Intro
Playing paintball for the first time or know someone who wants to? Of course you want to be outfitted with the phattest, sickest gear for your day of play. Just because you’re a newbie doesn’t mean you have to look like one. SPLAT has put together the list to end all lists for what every player needs for the first time they step out onto the field. Some of the stuff is expensive, some of it is REALLY expensive, but hey, can you really put a price on happiness? So grab a pen, some paper, your parents credit card, and get ready for the paintball shopping spree of a lifetime. And parents, if you think your kid might have seen this article before you could stop them, we apologize both now and when the collection agencies start calling.
Safety
Goggles
(Required) Your mask is your best friend and you should become very acquainted with it, since you will be spending many hours behind it. In the past, some people wore goggles. However, they did not offer the full-face, neck, and ear protection that a mask will provide. Usually, a local field will allow you to rent a mask if you don’t have one. If you value your eyesight you’ll wear goggles at all times, but if you want a dog leading you around for the rest of your life, go ahead, be stupid.
Neck Protector
(Highly Recommended) A throat/neck guard helps prevent stray shots from impacting your larynx and causing serious injury (not to mention serious pain). It might look a little girlie, but not nearly as girlie as you’ll be sounding if you take a direct hit to the throat.
Barrel Cover
(Required) In 2003, paintball insurance companies made it so field proprietors had to require barrel socks as a replacement for their plug-type predecessors, due to people accidentally shooting out their barrel plugs. It’s safer, cleaner, and damnit if I just don’t love the way it looks. Put a sock on it!
Jock Strap
(Highly Recommended) No explanation needed here, guys. Just thinking about an object flying at 285 fps is enough for me. Just make sure you’re “packing” enough to fill it out. Last thing you need is it flapping in the wind.
Knee Pads
(Highly Recommended) Unless your idea of fun is slip-sliding across rocks, trees, and god knows what other crap, you really need a pair of thick kneepads for a day’s worth of play. Plus they’ll make your skinny legs appear thicker.
Clothing
Camouflage
(Recommended for woods play) Dark or camouflage clothing will work best in woods play. Although camouflage is not required for play, when was the last time you remember having a hard time seeing some guy in a white sweater with matching pants running through the woods?
Hat - JT USA
(Optional) Wearing a hat or head wrap will keep the paint goo from getting into your hair, should a stray shot catch you upstairs. But if you can’t afford paying for highlights at the barbershop, ditch the hat and let the games begin.
Gloves - EVIL
(Optional) Gloves can help absorb some of the impact from a paintball hitting your hand. They also protect from scrapes when you slide or dive behind cover. Not to mention when overzealous opponents sneak up on you and bite your hand. I hate it when that happens.
Warm-up/Usable Pants - Local Garage Sale
(Recommended for grassy fields) These types of pants will offer the best freedom of movement, since you’ll be running, crawling, and kneeling frequently while you play. A pair of comfortable old jeans will work as well. Just don’t let your mommy see them when she gets home, ‘cuz she’ll be furious. Trust us, we know your mom pretty well. BOOYAH!!!
Shirt/Jersey - Big Brother Hand-Me-Down
(Required) Do not run off thinking you’re Rambo and decide not to wear a shirt. An old long-sleeve T-shirt or jersey works great, whether you are playing in the woods or on the grass. Just remember, picking a light color will not make people think you’re a ghost. The only one who will get scared is you.
Shoes/Cleats - Grandma Goosebumps
(Required) Sorry, running around barefoot will not cut it. Any type of shoe that has good traction and allows for fast starts and cutting action (football or soccer shoes work best) will give you firm footing on the field. It is recommended, though, if you are playing in the woods, that you wear something that provides more ankle support. The last thing you want is a twisted ankle sending you out of the game. Make sure you wear socks with the shoes, though, cuz if you don’t, the smell will give you away long before any sound you make does.
Gear
Gear Bag
(Optional) So, what do you put all of this stuff into anyway? Any good-sized bag will work. It can be anything from an old gym bag to a backpack, just as long as you can fit all of your equipment into it. Manufacturers do make paintball-specific bags with all kinds of cool little pockets for everything, but they’re not necessary. Leave extra space for the health food (candy bars, soda).
C02 or Nitro Tank
(Required) A vast majority of fields will offer CO2 for tank refills. Some fields also offer Nitro (compressed air) fills, but they are not as prevalent as CO2. Know where you are playing beforehand and determine if you need to fill up before you arrive. Eat a lot of Mexican food the night before and you’ll be sure to have more than enough gas for the day. Wait....that’s not the same thing.
Spray Bottle
(Highly Recommended) The first time I was out it never occurred to me that I might take a hit in the lens of my mask. Well, it happened and I had nothing to wipe it clean with. A towel and a small spray bottle filled with water will work wonders. Do not assume that the place you will be playing at will have running water. Keep this in mind when deciding whether or not to use the bathroom, ‘cuz if you can’t flush, it’s a party for everyone.
Tools
(Highly Recommended) Anything can and will happen to your equipment as the day goes on, so make sure you have the basic rundown of cool tools. Make sure you know what you’re doing, though, and don’t try to re-enact your favorite scene from Monster Garage.
Squeegee
(Highly Recommended) Markers generally include some type of barrel squeegee to remove paint from a ball break. Generally, it’s a cable squee-gee in which you remove the barrel, feed the end without the rubber or cloth disks through, and pull it out the other end. They usually do a good job removing the paint, but if you do not have one, enjoy the gooey light show that will be surging through the front of your barrel.
Loader/Hopper
You need something to put the balls into your gun. It’s that simple. For your first time out you don’t need to get the top-of-the-line loader, but a regular 12-volt agitating hopper won’t let you down and you’ll have a tough time out-shooting it. Remember though, open the lid BEFORE you pour the paint, not vice versa.
Paintball Marker
(Required) Hey, you cannot play if you do not have a paintball marker. Your first marker selection should be reliable, durable, and based on what you can afford. If you are unsure whether or not you will enjoy paintball, a local field usually will rent you equipment to use so you don't have to commit to a purchase before you've even tried the game. But when you’re ready to buy, get the most expensive one on the market and make your parents and their credit cards proud.
Paint
There are many varieties and many colors of paintball to choose from. Generally, you want to stay away from cheap paintballs, since their manufacturing process can introduce irregularities and cause the balls to fly every direction but straight. Paintballs are generally offered at fields for you to purchase; however, they can be extremely pricey. As for how many, 500 to 1,000 paintballs should be good for four to six hours of play initially (unless you feel compelled to paint the world). Also, you might want to split the cost of paint with a friend and purchase them from your local paintball retailer to save some money. And it’s OK to reuse your paintballs after you’ve shot them. Technology is amazing!!
Harness/Tubes
(Optional) Generally speaking, a hopper can hold 200 rounds. Depending on how well you play during a game, you may or may not run out of paintballs during play. Pods or tubes can hold anywhere from 100 to 180 rounds. These are placed into a harness that wraps around your waist with Velcro or some type of buckle. This equipment allows you to refill on the field without leaving the game currently in progress. As a beginner, you generally will not empty your hopper before you get hit. It’ll also make your butt look pretty, which we all know is not an easy thing to do. ‘Cuz you ugly.!
Nutrition
Beverages
(Recommended) Nothing will rehydrate you better than water. Find a big container, load it halfway up with ice and fill it up with water. You can also pack sports drinks into a cooler full of ice. But hey, what do you care, you’re a paintballer, and we’re all outta shape, so live it up, bring on the Coca-Cola!!!!
Food
(Recommended) Now that you have the beverages packed, you need something to eat. Try to find something that will not load you down to the point where you can’t move. Make up a sandwich or toss some fruit or vegetables into a cooler. The point here is not to gorge yourself into a food coma, but to give you enough energy to make it through a very physical game. Yet.. that’s right, you know me too well. Give me Doritos or give me death!!!
